This blog is about life with my husband who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia in 2008. He was 64 at the time although now, knowing more about the disease, Alzheimer's was present many, many years ago, which is why early detection is so important. As you read the blog "Al" represents the way that Alzheimer's is invading our daily lives.
Sheri has a "bucket" list, she knows for most people the "bucket list" is things a person wants to do before they die. For Sheri as a caregiver it is a list of things to she needs to do "to survive". She is sure other caregivers feel this way too, it is so hard to get their own needs (and I mean needs) taken care of. Daughter number one (the one who wears her heart on her sleeve) stayed with Bob and "Al", Sheri found an office that takes evening appointments and she got herself back to the dentist. Not exactly her favorite thing to do. So Sheri gets to cross one of her bucket list. Oh yeah, making progress.
Bob never cared for the cats. He was definitely a dog kinda guy, and for years they had both dogs and cats in their very furry house. "Al" has grow attached to the cats and enjoys them very much, but every once in a while they are grocery shopping and in the pet food isle, the visual cues will nudge Bob brain and "Al" will ask Sheri if they need dog food :)
Sheri needs to start focusing on others. It seems like when she dwells too much on her own losses, her jealousy and resentment, rear their ugly heads. But when she focuses on others, her heart softens and her compassion returns. Time to get some foam to stuff behind the player piano again so it is not quite so ear drum breaking loud, and invite some of Bob's friends... oh excuse me "coworkers" over to enjoy some tunes. :)
Bob is apparently still worried about his friend at work that was in distress. "Al" told Sheri he called him earlier in the day to see how he was, but could not reach him. Which is sweet because Bob has not been able to use a phone in years, nor do they have a house phone any more :)
Sheri snapped at Bob yesterday when he wanted to know the "plan" again after they got back from being out all day taking pictures. Sheri growled and asked " What do you think we have done today?"
"Al" looked down at Bob's twiddling thumbs and with a half nervous smile and on his face, paused for a minute and said "this? " :)
Oh what it must be like in his head.
Bob woke up at 5am this morning. Even after saying it was not a "work" day he would not go back to sleep. Sheri guesses she should thank him though, because she put him in the car, grabbed her camera and went off looking for the peace of a sunrise to remind her of God's blessings... she found it.
Sheri struggles with the lack of affection and relationship in her life. There are no answers to this issue. The truth is, it had been this way even long before "Al" was officially moved in. She knows it is not Bob's fault, but jealousy sets in quickly when she sees other couples their age, walking hand in hand or sharing a quiet moment on a park bench. She tries to just pause, praise and pray, in those moments, but the truth is it is not easy, and she is still human.
Proverbs 14:30A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Most of the time Bob is silent, nodding his head from time to time as if he agrees with what Sheri is saying , even if "Al" clearly does not understand. But last night Bob was trying very hard to relay something that had happened at "work" (code for Adult Day Center), but the story was so mixed up and repetitive , Sheri could not make heads or tails out of the conversation. She did gather though, that someone was in distress and "Al" tried to help.
Dear sweet man.
Bob still whistles constantly, even off and on during the night, which Sheri has learned to tolerate. However, Pomp and Circumstance (although she loves that tune) is not really a great sleeping tune. :)