This blog is about life with my husband who was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's and Frontal Lobe Dementia in 2008. He was 64 at the time although now, knowing more about the disease, Alzheimer's was present many, many years ago, which is why early detection is so important. As you read the blog "Al" represents the way that Alzheimer's is invading our daily lives.
Bob can not seem to remember which car door to get into. "Al" apparently, would rather sit in the back seat and be chauffeured around. Oh wait... Bob did mention being on tour again yesterday with Daniel O'Donnell, maybe "Al" was expecting the star treatment :)
Sheri thinks it is fascinating that almost everyone she knows, knows someone with "Alzheimer's or Dementia, and yet so little has been done to stop the disease. Although no two journeys are the same, Sheri hopes her daily blog brings a more personal look to at least 3 faces of the disease, Bob's, Al's, and Sheri's. :)
Since Bob has no ability to remember yesterdays activity's, "Al" lives in constant fear he has been removed from the choir. Sheri worries about bills, housing, the car, snow removal ... Bob and "Al" worry about choir. But the reality is worry is worry and life is too short for any of it. Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to hisspan of life?
Sheri took Bob to Target yesterday, grocery shopping day. The temp was about 15 degrees but the wind was wicked. Sheri parked, hung the handicap sticker, instructed Bob to take off his seat belt and get out of the car. When Sheri got out she realized Bob was having trouble shutting the car door. So she walked over and helped him close it. Thinking he was right behind her she started walking behind the car, to head towards the store. When she turned around to wait for him Bob was nowhere to be found. Sheri panicked for a moment, until she realized "Al" had forgotten if they were coming or going and was back inside the car :)
Sheri had Bob screwing nuts on bolts again yesterday evening. Right away "Al" began to chuckle explaining that he had handed out these bolts at "work" (code for Adult Day Center) but none of his team could do this task, not even when he put 3 of them together to work on it, they are just not that swift. :)
Sheri goes through cycle of grief, she never really knows when it is going to hit but she knows the cycles are there. While at church on Sunday she realized something else, a feeling she is less familial with and keeps hidden much better. She is angry, plain and simple, she is angry. She is angry that she is on this journey, angry about the loss of their family home, angry that Bob can't find the bathroom, put on his clothes, mow the lawn , or shave with out instruction. She is angry that in 2007 when she and Bob were going to try to work on their marriage that had been failing for many years instead of divorcing, that God would unveil this monster of a disease. She is angry and feels abandon by Bob. She is angry her daughters have lost there father. She is angry that the world had to wait till it shows up on the big screen before some one pays attention, while people have been living this hell watching their lives go by, but without popcorn or the ability to leave it behind, because there is no end to the movie or Oscar bow.
Sheri know's this is not Bob's fault. She knows any attention to Alzheimer's is important and she is grateful for the exposure of songs and movies about the disease. She knows she is not alone and that God has a plan for her life. She also knows now that is okay to be angry and to take her anger to God in intimate prayer.
Thank you Pastor Justin, I needed to hear that.
Now she will pull herself up by her boot straps and get on with the day.